02 Feb 2012

What’s Holding You Back from Finding Love?


Dear Love Manifestors,

Arielle and Claire here.

Firstly, we’d like to warmly welcome you to our blog. We’ve created this community as a way to connect, interact and experience inspiration with you on a regular basis. As you can probably guess, this blog was created to explore the art of attracting, creating and sustaining conscious, loving, committed partnerships.

How fitting that is, given the time of year. Valentine’s Day is coming right up and we thought there’s no better time than now to open a conversation around the topic of love. And when we say love, we mean the kind of deep, REAL love you experience when you’ve found your life partner, your counterpart, your soulmate.

Many of you may have already found this sort of love in your life and to you, we say congrats. We’re so happy you’ve joined us here… but today, we’re especially speaking to those of you in our community who aren’t quite there yet. Those who long to attract and sustain profound love and companionship in your life but still remain single.

We’re writing to you today to let you know that we get it. We’ve both been there ourselves and understand the moments of loneliness and frustration that you’re experiencing. We also want you to know that you’re not alone. We are 100% committed to helping you create magical and lasting love in your life. That’s why we’ve created this community… to show you that you’re not the only one asking yourself questions like: Am I meant to spend my life alone? Am I doing something wrong? Is it too late for me?

You probably already “know” the answer to all those questions above is absolutely not. But we know it can be hard to truly believe it at times. Especially in today’s world with all the social networks, match-maker websites, speed date lunches and smart phone apps created to make it easier to “get a date” but, ironically, make it harder to find love. Where in the pre-digital era we relied on first impressions, butterflies and “chemistry” to determine the possibility of love, we’re now forced to filter through thousands of profiles, instant messages and emails in hopes of finding “the one”. And on top of that, you may also be feeling the pressure of your increasingly busy life, which might make the idea of attracting deep and meaningful love even harder to grasp.

We’ve been there, alright. We, too, once wondered if it really was possible to find a soulmate, a best friend, an equal, and a life companion to fully share our life with. We studied, read and interviewed some of the top experts in the industry in hopes of discovering why so many people are held back from finding the kind of love they deserve. What we found was surprisingly simple and is often uncovered by answering one important question.

But before we get there, allow us to share our journeys into love with you…

“Claire: Ever since I was a little girl I thought about what it would be like when I found my great love. At the age of 7, I remember longing for companionship, partnership and love and as I grew older, I had disappointment after disappointment when it came to finding it. I had no trouble attracting men… men with serious potential. I seemed to always invest so much time and energy into my relationships and yet no matter what I did, I’d end up heart broken. I couldn’t figure out what was going wrong! I was smart, successful and was right where I wanted to be professionally. Sure, I had high standards (the result of being your typical over-achiever from a very young age) but I never believed I could have any troubles when it came to attracting “the one”… I just assumed it would happen.

After taking the time to look within to try and figure out why I was struggling in this area of my life, I discovered that I actually had some deep-rooted core beliefs about my own value as a woman and sense of worth in relationships that were affecting who I was being with men. To my surprise, I was very different than how I was in my professional life. For the first time ever, I saw myself as the source of every experience I had created when it came to love and relationships. This was pretty painful and hard to accept at first but it was also incredibly liberating because it allowed me the opportunity to evolve. It also, in a very synchronistic and amazing way, led me to the man who became my husband and the great love of my life. We’ve been married for nearly four years now and the love between us is more profound than anything I could’ve dreamt up.”

“I was a first-time bride at the age of 44. Prior to my wedding, I had more than my share of heartbreaks and disappointments around love and relationships. Things were going great for me professionally–I had great work projects, and my evenings were busy. You could say I had tons of distractions that kept me from feeling and experiencing a lot of the deep pain and loneliness that came from yearning to spend my life with a soulmate, to have my other half, my best friend, my lover and partner for life. I spent years longing for love… yet still found myself alone. Like Claire, I went in search of some answers. Then one day I realized that I had never taken the time to gain a deep sense of clarity on what I actually wanted when it came to love. I had to ask myself some tough questions and take a look at my own self-worth. The first thing that came to me when I did this was painful memories of past relationships…

But then, just like that, I took a strong stand for myself and I decided that I was going to manifest my soul mate. I already knew I had a strong ability to manifest in my professional life and surely love was more powerful than any alignment of stars or planets or media projects. When I took that stand, I knew that I would figure out how to manifest the love of my life, and I did. I’m very happy to report that my soul mate, Brian, and I have now been together for 14 years, and being with him is like a dream come true.”

As you can see, love wasn’t something that came easy for either of us in the beginning. But once we uncovered the internal obstacles we had to manifesting it, we fell into the deepest kind of love imaginable. Love we didn’t know existed until we found it.

So, to all of you still waiting for love… know that it’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. Chances are, you just haven’t been given the right tools you need to open yourself up to receiving it fully. What we’ve found is that most people who aren’t in love and want to be harbor certain obstacles to manifesting it (we’ve identified exactly what these obstacles are and will be explaining more about them in the next few days). Different people experience different obstacles so how you go about creating a consciousness of love can be very different from how others have done it.

Figuring this out was a huge relief for us and we’re guessing it will be for you, too. As we speak, we’re working on putting something together that will help open you up to the possibility of receiving love. It’s a little tool that you can use every single day and it won’t add more than a few minutes on to your normal morning routine. We’ll be releasing it in a few days but before we do, we wanted to share some of the feedback we’ve received about what’s holding some of you back from finding love:

  • Some of you are still hurting from past relationships, having a hard time letting go of the hurt and know it’s affecting your ability to keep possibility alive for the future.
  • Some of you meet a lot of wonderful people, but when it comes to dating, you’re so busy with work and stressed out that you don’t have time to meet anyone new.
  • Others of you have a hard time meeting someone who feels like a fit for you. It seems like the men you encounter are intimidated by powerful women. Or, for men, you seem to be meeting women who are looking for a stable provider, rather than a true soulmate.
  • Some of you are not really sure what’s stopping you from manifesting true love. Maybe it’s not in your destiny, you sometimes wonder.
  • And still others among you put so much time and energy into your career that when you do find yourself with “me” time, you feel exhausted and the idea of dating seems draining.

These are all important realizations and breakthroughs, but this list is in no way comprehensive, so you may or may not identify with these feelings and experiences, which is fine. Regardless, we encourage all of you to explore what’s stopping you from finding true love. In our experience, we’ve found that once you’re able to shed light on this, you’re that much closer to breaking down the barrier to love.

Over the next couple of days we’ll be sending you some more information we hope you find valuable. In the meantime, please add any comments or questions you have for us below. Remember, we’re with you on this and we’d love to hear from you.

We’re confident that you’re well on your way to becoming a love magnet and attracting the relationship of your dreams.

With love & hugs,

Arielle Ford and Claire Zammit



Claire Zammit, Ph.D.(c)

Transformative educator, co-creator of Feminine Power, and co-creator of the internationally-acclaimed Women on the Edge of Evolution teleseries.