05 Dec 2012
Online Dating: Romantic Profiling, Part One
Penning an online dating profile has always reminded me of writing a resume – not something I’m a fan of. The whole dance of cramming everything I’ve ever done, every career I’ve embarked on, every task I’ve accomplished on a single, tiny-fonted page, has always sort of . . . bummed me out.
This melancholic dip revolves, I think, around the sense of ‘lack’ the resume-writing suggests. “I do not have a job and am offering you this exaggerated-yet-antiseptic assessment of who I am so you will hopefully find something to be impressed by and, by the way, please please please hire me.”
I fully realize that, next time I’m looking for a job, I’ll need a major attitude adjustment about this. But today, what matters to me most is that I do not imbue my online profile writing with the same grim outlook.
As I embark, the outline and writing exercises that Lauren* has provided prove amazingly helpful. She also gave me examples of profiles that previous Man Magnets have posted. They are lush, exciting, and unapologetically romantic.
Along with the outline, Lauren offers what seem to be cardinal rules for the profile: It should be visual and must unequivocally state what it is I am looking for.
The first of these rules is, perhaps, most important for women seeking men. As Lauren points out, men are spectacularly visual creatures. One way to tap into that nature is to provide nice profile pics. The magic happens when you take it a step further, however, weaving the woman in those pictures into your writing. It would seem that, according to Lauren, the images and words in concert with one another will implant themselves into a man-brain like a relentless Amazonian parasite, making the owner of said man-brain inexplicably and unstoppably smitten. (Amazonian parasite being my phrase not hers.)
The second of Lauren’s rules and, surprisingly, the more difficult edict for me to follow, is being upfront and honest about what I want.
I am seeking to become an Empowered Wife, but when it comes to writing that I am seeking marriage, I balk. I ask Lauren if talking about the multiple facets and deep connection I seek with a partner isn’t enough.
Ignoring me, she hops in and rewrites the sentence, adding the final words:
I am ready for a profound heart connection and an epic romance that makes my heart race, weakens my knees, and evolves into a magnificent marriage.
As she does so, Lauren emphasizes that I should, by all means, block myself from people who do not have compatible relationship goals. The only men who are going to not like the word “marriage” are the men who do not ever want to do it. And, just because I go on a date with someone doesn’t mean that I have to want to marry them or that we can’t have a lovely affair instead.
Lauren confirms for me that, in my case, compatibility means that whoever I date is interested in getting hitched – or at least unafraid of meeting a girl who wants that.
So . . . magnificent marriage it is. And, hopefully, a magnificent marriage it will be.
Until next time,
Follow our blogger, Khristina Kravas, as she candidly shares her experiences of Man Magnet Transformation and adventures in the world of dating.
* In addition to being this blogger’s love guru, Lauren Frances is an internationally acclaimed love and relationships expert, author and seminar leader. She is also the discreet “go-to” love expert for Hollywood’s A-list celebrities, and her love coaching practice spans the globe.