Men Who Are HAPPY In Relationship Begin To Nest
28 Nov 2012

Men Who Are HAPPY In Relationship Begin To Nest

So what does it mean to nest? In the animal kingdom: A nest is a place of refuge to hold an animal’s eggs or provide a place to live or raise offspring. So what about us human beings, why do men nest when they are happy? Well for men, they appreciate the companionship, attention, affection and regular sex that comes with a happy relationship. When men are comfortable and happy, they rarely go anywhere and they settle into their environment and make a home or nest.

Men rarely talk about this nesting, they just do it. Their actions reflect a sense of commitment when they share in household duties when they visit your home. They might take out the trash, or bring in the mail, they help with fix-it items or even wash your car. They have a spare toothbrush and clothes at your home. They plan their weekends spending time with you in your home or he invites you to his. All of these actions and many more are signs that a man is committed to the relationship.

Recently I received the following email (slightly edited):

“Jonathon, what would you say about a man that can’t seem to speak of anything emotional? We go out on dates, he’s very attentive. Opens the car door for me, cooks for me. I see him three times over the weekend. Sex is off the charts. Been dating a year now. But not once has he told me he thinks I’m pretty, or he likes me. He will make round about comments to see if we are only dating each other, but I’m stumped here.”


She is stumped and so am I.

This man is obviously a man of action not words, and while I believe words are very important, it’s equally as important to watch a man’s actions. This is a man who has clearly settled into the relationship, the fact they have been together for over a year, he’s attentive, and loves to cook for her, reflects a man who has nested. Now he might struggle a bit with words, but I’m sure he loves all the things she does. That is the main reason why he is so attentive. Given the sex is off the charts, I am sure he shares his feelings in the bedroom, and I wonder if she can’t hear him?

Everyday women come to me with similar stories of men who have nested into the relationship and yet they question “why doesn’t he show more commitment” or “where is this relationship going?”

He clearly is showing his love and caring through his actions, and yet it hasn’t been heard. When this happens it is usually for the following reason: Their love languages are off. Gary Chapman’s work The Five Love Languages describes how we all have a unique language for expressing love.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, there are five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

When you learn these 5 Love Languages coupled with my program HOW TO GET ANY MAN TO OPEN UP IN 10 MINUTES, stories like Elaine’s will become a thing of the past.

Signs that this man has nested is “quality time” and “acts of service” as outlined by Mr. Chapman. When a man spends regular time with you and is attentive with his actions or acts, this is a sure-fire sign he is into you, is happy and rarely is going anywhere.

As I said before, actions speak for themselves and a man who has nested is usually a sign he is happy and committed to the relationship.

Jonathon Aslay



Jonathon Aslay

Successful coach and author of Understand Men Now ~ The Relationships Men Commit To and Why, with a radical honesty coaching style that helps women answer the questions that baffle them the most when it comes to dating, mating and relating.

Kim Benson says:

What if a man begins dating someone and moves in within a month? Is that nesting or using someone for cheap rent and sex. Oh, and still lists his status as “single” on FB and keeps a picture of his ex-wife on his page, a profile on Match and other “sex sites.”