Struggling with Love


5 Ways to “En-Lighten Up” Your Relationship
07 May 2013

5 Ways to “En-Lighten Up” Your Relationship

Buddhist nun Pema Chodron teaches, “Enlightenment is not something we’re going to achieve after we follow the instructions, and then get it right. In fact, when it comes to awakening the heart and mind, you can’t ‘get it right.’” Images of well-known souls such as the Buddha, Confucius and Jesus come to mind when we think about “enlightenment.” These are people who reached a high...

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Finding Time for Sex
12 Apr 2013

Finding Time for Sex

Have you encountered times in your marriage where one or both of you wanted to have sex, but there just wasn’t time or energy for it? I know that we used to face this realization way too often in our own marriage. We would exchange some “indications” earlier in the day that we were looking forward to an intimate evening. However, after a longer-than-usual time...

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The Love Diet
20 Mar 2013

The Love Diet

If you’ve ever been on a luxury cruise or vacation where you ate more sweet and rich foods than you usually do and were less active than you normally are, you probably came home feeling rested and relaxed but with a few extra pounds, too! Post-vacation, you may have started a new diet and exercise routine to work off the weight you picked up to...

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Mating in Captivity: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship
05 Mar 2013

Mating in Captivity: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

While the diversity in the couples I work with is infinite, one complaint rings true across all cultures: couples who describe themselves as loving, trusting and caring complain that their sex lives have become dull and devoid of eroticism. I was honored to have been invited as one of three experts for the special TED talk for Valentine’s Day. In this talk, I explore: Why...

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3 Ways You May Have Stopped Being an Irresistible Invitation to Love
13 Feb 2013

3 Ways You May Have Stopped Being an Irresistible Invitation to Love

In the beginning of almost every relationship, we’re totally irresistible to each other. We’re perfect in each other’s eyes. We do special things for each other like leave love notes and set up special surprise dinners for our loved one. We can’t get enough of each other. We talk all the time. We tell each other anything and everything. We’re totally open, curious, and willing...

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4 Fun Ways to Put More Spark Back into Your Relationship
04 Feb 2013

4 Fun Ways to Put More Spark Back into Your Relationship

Cindy is bored with her marriage. She’s embarrassed to admit it because so many of her friends are in relationships that are conflict-ridden and have been destroyed by cheating. She feels sure that her husband Paul is faithful to her, and she knows he loves her. But, she really misses the way things used to be for them. Before kids. Before home maintenance. Before demanding...

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Does Your Relationship Drive You Crazy?
01 Feb 2013

Does Your Relationship Drive You Crazy?

Shortly after we were married, we went to India and spent our honeymoon in monasteries and ashrams. We also had a private meeting with the Dalai Lama at his residence in McLeod Ganj, in the foothills of the Himalayas. As Ed recalls: After some thirty minutes of talking with him, I was feeling so moved by this gentle and loving man that I didn’t want...

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Zero Negativity
26 Jan 2013

Zero Negativity

Hurtful words in a relationship can be like a drop of red dye in a glass of water that turns the whole glass pink. What starts out as a slip of tongue, a small slight from one person to another, sets a process in motion that slowly (or quickly) permeates a relationship and begins to define its tone. It’s easy to think criticism is a...

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How to Deal with Relationship Stresses During the Holidays
17 Dec 2012

How to Deal with Relationship Stresses During the Holidays

Whether it shows up in money arguments, sexual tension or other ways, stress often comes to the forefront during the holidays. A conscious loving set of solutions can help you overcome intimacy challenges at this time of year. Here are some of the most common issues we’re heard over the years and the practical shifts you can create to enjoy your holidays to the max.


Don’t Let the Green-Eyed Monster Ruin Your Holidays
03 Dec 2012

Don’t Let the Green-Eyed Monster Ruin Your Holidays

It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . . Or so the song goes. When you have a tendency to get jealous, the holidays can be an especially UN-wonderful and upsetting time of the year. Yes, there may be plenty of festivities, good food, and presents, but there are also a lot of triggering situations.



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